I decided to get a little crazy.

I decided to attempt a 24-hour no-complaining challenge for myself. Now, I’ve done limited ones before: no complaining to my husband, no complaining at work, no complaining at church, but I had never tried a full-on no complaining rule about everything all at once. I failed. Miserably. The struggle… is REAL.

You see, complaining is a pretty easy (and ugly) cycle to fall into. You complain about one little, insignificant thing… and that leads to complaining about something else… which leads to complaining about something else… which leads to you having a bitter, unhappy life every day. As if the God of the entire universe, the Saviour of your very soul, and the Spirit who desperately wants to help you live happy and holy had not already given you everything in every way that They want you to have. As if every circumstance, person, situation, interruption, and unpleasant moment had not been filtered through the judgment of the Father God, the love of the Christ, and the knowledge of the Holy Spirit. And we think we have the right to complain.

But what does our Bible say about complaining?

Philippians 2:14-16 says, “Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world; Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain.”

Philippians 4:13-16 tells us, “But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity. Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Hebrews 13:5 says, “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”

The root of complaining results in this: every time we complain about something, we’re telling God we’re not content with what He has given us. Complaining means that we think we know better than God what our day should go like, it means we’re exalting ourselves in pride over what God has chosen for us, and it means we’re denying the opportunity to allow our circumstances to grow us spiritually. The struggle is real because it’s our flesh overtaking the Spirit who lives inside us. And the crazy thing is, if you’re anything like me, you’ve convinced yourself that you have the right to complain and the right to be happy. But the two simply do not go together. When you put yourself into the ugly complaining cycle, it produces unrest, unhappiness, depression, anger, bitterness… none of which lead to joy.

So, how do you make it stop? I’m glad you asked:

1. Admit your need for change. You never see sinners genuinely repenting of their sin before they realize and admit that they are, in fact, sinning. A very easy way to tell just how many times you’re complaining is to keep a tally. Go ahead: I dare you. For one day, specifically watch to see how many times you complain and how many times you’re tempted to complain but don’t actually complain because you know if you do, you’ll have to write down a mark on your tally sheet. If you’re anywhere near the sinner I am, your tally sheet will not be pretty by the end of the day. It’s so easy, especially in this modern, self-focused society, to fall into the habit of complaining.
2. Change how you think. If your first thought when something annoying comes up (a rude co-worker, things don’t turn out great at a lunch, your laundry takes forever to dry, that guy cuts you off, etc) is disgust, annoyance, anger, or prideful/self-focused in any way, then purposefully choose to make your immediate second thought to be “God forgive me: help my thoughts be selfless.” This trains your mind to react in a godly manner rather than an ungodly manner when the little things come up that lead to you complaining. The action of choice here (your works) will help establish your thoughts, just like it says in Proverbs 16:3, “Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.” God clearly tells us through His Word that He wants us to work on our mind when He said in Romans 12:2, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
3. Choose to be thankful. Every time we remove a sin and work towards changing the way we view that sin, we should replace the sin with a good action or attitude. If you, like me, struggle with complaining which lends towards being self-focused, then we should choose to replace complaining with gratitude and praise. I’m not suggesting you go around faking a big ol’ smile on your face when your thinking complaints about every little thing. It’s through the renewing of your mind and changing your thinking that you’ll be able to replace complaining with real praise and gratitude. Christians are encouraged in Ephesians 4:22-24 “That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; and be renewed in the spirit of your mind; and that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.” Just as milk spoils after it gets old, our mind gets spoiled if we let it get old. We must train ourselves to not live old with complaining, but rather to live new with gratitude. There’s no need to fake it if you’re looking realistically at all you’ve been blessed with throughout your day. 

How much time do you waste living old with complaining? How much more could you do for God’s glory if you were willing to live new with gratitude and humility? Do you need to repent of your complaining? Do you need to change the way you think? Are you grateful for what God has given you today?

Love, Meghan