Throughout Jesus’ ministry, He dealt many times with the Pharisees. These men were the religious bullies of the Bible days: known for their “righteous,” public acts and their sly weaseling around laws. It’s crazy, actually, because these men who were so devoted to memorizing God’s Word completely missed the application. As a result of writing God’s Word only on their minds and never on their hearts, the Pharisees attacked Jesus and attempted multiple times to undermine His authority. Jesus had some pretty specific words for them. One particular time, Jesus said,

O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.  But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.”

Jesus knew, as we know now, that one day the attacking words of these bullies would bring them into condemnation when faced with a Holy Judge in Heaven.

Many Christian girls these days would have made excellent Pharisees back in the day. They gladly declare their own righteousness, but their tongues and hearts never follow through with the proclamations of holiness: they have “a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof […]”

They say 9 out of 10 teenagers who graduate high school will never darken the door of a church again. I’ve heard preachers blame parents and blame the youth leaders and blame the lack of updated technology for the flock of teens leaving. But I think it’s because many of us grow up just needing a friend and we find only vipers.

How do we end up going the Pharisaical way? Why do we girls use each other? Why do we backstab one another? Why do women feel by the time they leave college that they have to protect themselves and therefore can no longer trust other women? Why are we not loving the way we should? How did the words “Christian girl” turn into “viper?” Is there no hope?

I still believe there is hope. I believe a viper can change her bite. But the first step is to realize whether or not you have viper tendencies. Let’s ask ourselves some questions and answer honestly to find out:

1. Do you consistently point out the wrongs of others or point out how someone else could improve, but never praise them when they perform well?
2. Do you think of yourself the best (or close to it) example of what the ideal Christian girl looks and acts like?
3. Do you read your Bible because you want to or because you know you’re supposed to?
4. Do you speak about other members of your youth group when they’re not present?
5. Can you think of a time recently when you think you may have hurt someone’s feelings, but didn’t apologize?
6. Do you seek out new people to hang out with and talk to or do you stick to the same people as much as possible?
7. What’s the first thought that pops into your head when I ask if you’re nice?
8. Is there a person you can think of right away that you could be nicer to?
9. Who did you last have an argument with and why? Was it at all your fault?
10. Who’s the last person you hurt and why? Did you apologize?

If we’re honest with ourselves, I think we all carry some form of a viper in us. We all have a tendency to think of ourselves as being better than other girls and women; we all have a tendency to attack. I’ve caught myself in viper moments so many times because it’s my natural tendency to criticize unlovingly or to be too harsh. But God didn’t call us to love ourselves: He called us to love others. So how can a viper change into the kind of woman God intended her to be?

Romans 12:1-3 tells us, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.”

Here’s three ways to change from a viper mentality to a loving mentality:

1. Recognize who you are. Ever heard the phrase, “But by the grace of God, there go I?” It’s an old saying that recognized that, if God had not rescued us, we would have been a lesser version of ourselves. Every single woman is born a sinner, unable to save herself from Hell or to live a holy, pure life to get herself into Heaven.Roman 3:10 tells us, “As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one.” We’re all on equal ground, with no woman being born better than another. Vipers have a tendency to think of themselves as better Christians or higher in stature in Christian circles than they actually are in God’s eyes. You see, in God’s eyes, we’re all just His kids in need of saving. Maybe you’re a little more grown up than one of His other kids, but that definitely doesn’t make you better than the kids who are less developed. We’re all in a constant state of needing Him to get through our living.

2. Recognize who they are. One of the first verses most Christians learn is John 3:16: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” However, when we view Christian women outside our immediate circle, we automatically seem to forget that those women are as equally loved by God as we are equally loved by God. And if God can send His son to sacrifice for you, He definitely sent His son to sacrifice for that girl over there. That girl you’re talking about is beloved of God: she is His peculiar, rare treasure. She is equally loved by God and should be equally loved by you.

3. Speak love. The word “love” is mentioned 310 times in the Bible. It’s very easy to fall into complaining about another girl or woman and it’s very easy to criticize anyone who doesn’t look, talk, or walk the same way you do. But do you really think that gives you the right to bite that girl with your words? 1 Corinthians 13:1-2, “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.” God doesn’t care how smart you are, how great you are at condemning others for their sins, or if you’re the best speaker at your church: without love, you’re going to be ineffective. You can have the best intentions when you go on the attack on another girl, but unless you’re speaking to her or about her in love, it’s useless.

I want you to be happy. I want you to be holy. You can be neither one of these things if you use your words as weapons to hurt one another. Please, leave your Pharisaical viper bite in the grave of sin where it belongs girls and turn to Jesus to learn His Words of love, forgiveness, kindness, and empathy. You’ll be all the better for it.

Love, Meghan