She stood outside the room, breathing in and out. How could she walk in? They all knew what she had done, they all knew who she had done it with, they all knew her sins and she bore their accusing stares every time she left her home. But she had heard Jesus would be there. He was her only hope.

Jesus. The God-man who performed miracles none could believe within the realm of the possibility. If He could give sight to the blind, if He could bring a dead girl back to life, could He make the hole in her soul heal? She felt the cool, hard surface of the box she carried, took a deep breath, and pushed forward into the room where she knew He would be eating. She had to believe that He could help make her whole.

She felt the stares. She heard the whispers. But she kept her eyes on Jesus. She stopped directly in front of him, stooped down on the ground, and laid her burdens there. She began to cry when she felt her shame and guilt rise in her chest, just a couple of tears that she wiped away at first. After the first couple tears, she let them flow, mingling with the ointment from her box.

She realized she had forgotten the cloth to clean his feet with. How would she give Jesus her offering and hope for healing? She pulled her hair in front of her, knowing that she must continue her washing. The desperation rose with her faith: she needed healing, He could heal. She needed healing, He could heal. She wiped his feet, wet with her tears, until his feet were clean and the ointment was gone; she kissed His holy feet. She heard a man speak to her left saying, “This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him; for she is a sinner.”

Her cheeks flamed with her shame, fresh tears falling down onto her Master’s feet, but she continued her work. This was her only hope: all of her faith was in Jesus. Jesus told a story about creditors and debtors. Then, He spoke to her.

“Thy sins are forgiven.” Instant peace entered her heart: peace she had not known since she was very young. Her sins, her shame, her guilt: they were all forgiven. She was whole. She heard the others murmuring as she lifted her head to Jesus.

“Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace.”

What if she hadn’t walked in? What if she hadn’t gone to that home where Jesus ate? What if her guilt and her shame had kept her in the shadows of her society, pinned by her past choices?

What is your shame and guilt keeping you from that Jesus has to offer? God never intends us to live in the shadow of shame for our whole lives. Shame is simply meant to be a tool used to bring us to necessary repentance and to restore us to His holy way. But we women hold onto our shame and let our self-induced guilt tear us apart until we’re no longer able to recognize who we’re meant to be.

Hebrews 10:14-18 tells us, “For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified. Whereof the Holy Ghost also is a witness to us: for after that he had said before, This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, saith the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them; And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more. Now where remission of these is, there is no more offering for sin.” Through salvation through Christ’s offering, God no longer sees our sin and shame: He specifically says that he remembers them no more. They don’t even exist in His mind, yet we continue to allow the guilt over our mistakes and sins to rule our choices.

Shame keeps us from developing true friendships. How could we have a true friend if we don’t trust anyone to know our secret guilt? Shame keeps us from interacting with the body of Christ the way He intended. How could we volunteer to work with innocent children knowing the guilt that lies within us? Shame keeps us from serving Him as fully as He would like. How can we serve the holy when our dirty pasts would show? Shame keeps us in a state of abuse and torment long past the moment Jesus send us away saying, “I forgive you.”

If he can forgive this woman, known only as a sinner to her community, if Jesus can forgive the thieves crucified next to Him, if Jesus can forgive the very humans who beat Him to the point of not resembling a man, don’t you think He can forgive you for whatever shame your soul is holding onto?

So let’s let go, friends. But how?

1. Ask for forgiveness. Maybe you’ve done it in the past, but this time mean it. Don’t just ask for forgiveness with your words: ask with your heart. Ask God to forgive you for whatever it is that’s causing your shame and guilt, knowing by faith that He is going to say, “Yes, I forgive you.” Often, we remain in the shackles of guilt because we refuse to have the faith that God can, indeed, forgive us our wrongdoings. This woman who wiped Jesus’ feet never verbalized the words, “Forgive me” or “Make me whole,” but we can clearly see her question in her actions. Her tears represent the shame she brought to Christ that day and her faith in His ability to heal saved her.
2. Leave the shame with God. It does us no good to ask forgiveness for something from God and then continue on with our thoughts and lives as though we had never asked Him for forgiveness. Actually, holding onto shame and guilt after we’ve asked for forgiveness is a form of pride. 1 Peter 5:6-7 tells us, “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you.” God wants us, in our humility and recognition of our limited power, to give our cares to Him to handle in His infinite power. Something I do sometimes to physically remind myself that what I’m giving to God in prayer  is to literally hold out my hands palm up, raise them as I speak the words, “Lord, I give you….” and then I raise my hands up to Him. The physical representation of the spiritual asking can help your faith in what God can do: it stands as a reminder that He’s taking our shame and giving us forgiveness instead. I lower my hands, and my soul, empty of cares.
3. Remind yourself of Truth. When something that causes you shame comes to mind out of the blue that you’ve already asked forgiveness for, don’t give in. Force yourself to think: I’ve already left this with God, I don’t need to bring this back up. Repetition of a truth will help your brain catch up to believing that truth. Keep telling yourself you’ve already left the same at Jesus’ feet. It’s gone. You’ll be surprised how soon you’ll find yourself able to fight those “random” moments of shame that pop up after you’ve dealt with the problem. To help remind us of truth, we should write out a few verses that speak of God’s forgiveness and His love for us: read them often as reminders that our lives do not belong to guilt and shame. God’s Word will strengthen your resolve to live the way He wants you to. Psalms 119:28 tells us, “My soul melteth for heaviness: strengthen Thou me according unto Thy word.” His Word, Truth, strengthens our soul.

Whatever it is that has you hesitating where God would have you go forward, whatever shame is holding you back from becoming every bit of the incredible woman that God intends you to be, whatever guilt has you questioning your value and effectiveness as a Christian woman, it’s time to let go. Don’t waste another moment of your life living less than what God wants for you. It’s time to leave shame behind.

Love, Meghan