I’ve noticed there’s a huge trend growing year-after-year where hoards of women, single and married alike, are bashing Valentine’s Day… I have one question to ask: what did Valentine’s Day do to you?

Just kidding! I would bet (if I were a betting person) that if you hate Valentine’s Day it’s probably because of a bad experience founded in being unhappy with the season God’s brought you into.

You didn’t have a boyfriend when it felt like every other person had a boyfriend. You didn’t get roses when it felt like every other girl was getting roses. You didn’t have a surprise romantic evening planned for you by the special someone in your life because that someone was your dog, but it felt like every other person had found their special someone just in time for Valentine’s Day. But you know what? Our feelings aren’t always true.

We know the Bible clearly tells us that love is the greatest of all commandments and is even more important than hope (which gives us the will to live) and faith (which connects us to the Reason to live). We also know that Valentine’s Day, whether we love it or hate it, is the biggest day of celebration about love in general that we have these days.

So, what if I could give you some practical ways to help you [love] National Love Day (aka Valentine’s Day) instead of letting you keep drinking the hate-orade? Let’s try these:

1. Don’t focus on what you don’t have.

So you don’t have a boyfriend or a fiance or a husband… are you supposed to wallow in aloneness? God said “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” You’re not to covet what God has chosen to not give you in this season. Valentine’s Day (and every other day of the year as long as you are single) is a time to choose to be content with what God has given you. He has a great purpose for you and His timing is exactly right, so why waste even a moment stuck in the drudgery of coveting what you don’t have? Your story is just not going to be the same as another woman’s story: that means if her husband is super into gift-giving and yours isn’t, you’re not supposed to ignore the acts of service your husband is doing. That woman’s husband is not your husband and you shouldn’t want your person to be someone else! If you’re single, be content and make the most of your single life! If you’re married, don’t wish to be married to someone who isn’t called to be your spouse!

2. Do focus on what you do have.

When is the last time you did something special for your family members, your friends, your classmates, or your co-workers?  My favorite of all favorite Valentine’s day was actually a day when I was single. I had recently broken up with my longtime boyfriend and I felt a little down. My very good friend, Seth, took me and another one of our single friends out for dinner. He bought us each a rose and just let us know he appreciated us. That beautiful act of kindness and friendship was so touching and really represented more of a godly love than many of the Valentine’s gifts/dates I had on other Valentine’s days. Ever heard of Palentine’s Day & Galentine’s Day? Love isn’t just the romantic love between a man and woman: it’s about the friends God has in your current season and it’s about supporting, honoring, and loving the women who’ve impacted your life. Maybe you’re not getting roses, but you sure could add to your riches in Heaven by loving others on purpose on THE love day of the year.

3. Pray for your person.

If you’re really feeling down and finding it hard to accept your current season, why not write out a prayer to God? If you’re single, ask Him to show love to your future love-of-your-life. This guy might be feeling lonely or down on this Valentine’s Day: what if your prayer were to help send a little love his way in preparation for you one day? If you’re married, ask Him to show you how to best love your spouse today. I don’t know if you know this, but your husband might actually want to feel your love a little extra on Valentine’s Day. Love is a verb, not just a gift to be received. Why not ask God for ideas on how to love (the verb) and not just receive love (the noun)?

4. Perform a random act of kindness.

Galatians 5:13 – 14 tells us, “For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”

I heard about a friend of a friend who, feeling a bit down on Valentine’s Day, decided to buy several roses and hand them out to elderly women he met on the street. He really made these women’s day, many of them cried at the show of love, and he found out that most of these women he met were actually widows who were feeling very lonely on that day without their husbands who had passed on. Buy someone’s coffee who is standing in line behind you. Give a box of chocolate or a stuffed animal to the kid who never seems to be with friends. What greater day is there than THE love day of the year to show God’s great love through your good works to people? Who knows if this small act of love might bring them one day to Christ?

So, please my dear girl: don’t hate Valentine’s Day! There’s so much good and so much love to be had this day. Is it hard to accept the season God places us in? Yes, sometimes. But really, our Valentine’s Day is going to be what every other day we live as Christian women will be: exactly what we make it. 🙂