She had a bad day.

Dozens of unexpected guests showed up at her house out of nowhere expecting her to feed them and provide them with a place to rest. Sure, they were her friends, but (seriously) couldn’t they have gotten a message to her with a little warning?

She ran around most of the day trying so hard to balance between getting all the work done that would be needed to make these people feel comfortable and trying to connect with her visitors. Finally, when it looked like the impossible task was just never going to happen, she noticed her sister sitting down and chatting with their visitors.

She was killing herself and her sister was just laying around. She asked their friend if he could encourage her sister to help her and instead he told Martha that she was too focused on worrying about the work that needs to be done and not enough on her guests.

Great.

While I can definitely empathize with Martha’s frustration in those moments, I think that if Martha knew that for the rest of history how she reacted in this one bad day would define her, she would have reacted more carefully.

You mention the name “Martha” to most Christians and they’ll automatically talk about how she was “cumbered about.” They don’t mention her work ethic, they don’t mention her willingness to serve others or to take in an unexpectedly large crowd into her home: her whole identity gets caught up in one bad day, in one bad reaction, in one bad freak-out moment. Oh, “Martha, Martha.”

If we’re being honest, most of us would have reacted the exact same way Martha did. A bunch of unexpected guests showing up at your door means you’re desperately kicking the kids’ toys and five days worth of clean laundry under the couch and you’re really hoping the trash got taken out at some point in the past day or so. But Martha’s story brings me to this question: if my name will be associated only my reactions to my circumstances today, what would my name mean?

Would I be known for my temper because I yelled at my family for making me late to work? Would I be known for my sarcastic ability when I’m approached by someone who frustrates me?  Would I be known for my doubt or my faith? For my love or my fear? For my bitterness or my forgiveness? For my kindness or my vengeance?

God cares about our reactions. Proverbs 16:32 tells us, “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” The problem is, we let our spirit rule us (instead of the other way around) when we get too caught up in focusing on everything except Jesus.

I wonder if Martha could have known that her reaction to one bad day would define her for the rest of time if she might have reacted differently. I can’t help but think she would rather have found her peace in Jesus in that moment than pay the price of her reputation being ruined.

But how do we change our reactions to stressful situations and people?

1. We recognize it’s a conscious choice that starts in our thought process. We’re to take “every thought captive” as it says in 1 Corinthians 10:5. That means that we do have control over our thoughts and since our words come directly from our thoughts, we must choose to control those thoughts first.
2. We realize that, “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee: because he trusteth in Thee.” When our minds remain focused on Christ throughout our day, our reactions to stressful circumstances and unexpected events will be peaceful instead of hostile. If we’re constantly thinking about Christ and what He would want and what He would do, it makes it harder to stop that to start doing something un-Christlike.
3.  We react only after giving ourselves a moment. James 1:19-20 tells us, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” If we paused for just one moment before we responded to a stressful situation, we’d give ourselves that extra chance to control our reaction.
4. We remember that our reactions are a direct result of our mindset. Galatians 6:7-9 tells us, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” When our minds are focused on the eternal throughout our day rather than the temporal, we respond in a way that reflects God. When our minds are focused on the temporal throughout our day rather than the eternal, we respond in a way that reflects the world. We always reap in our reactions what we sow into our minds and hearts.

But how does that look in real, messy, stressful, busy life?

When something bad happens, I have an immediate choice in my thoughts: do I say, “God knows,” and trust that He’s brought something temporarily unpleasant to bring an eternal good?

When I open my eyes, do I thank God for letting me live today for Him or am I already complaining before my feet ever set foot on the ground? ‬Am I thinking about what He would like me to accomplish today or how I can honor Him even in my morning routine? Or do I grunt at my family and Heaven help the soul who steps out of line while we’re getting ready….

Do I rage against the guy who just cut me off on my way to work? Do I snap at my co-worker who’s just so peppy all them time, especially in the mornings? Do I defend myself immediately when someone asks me a question about my work? Or do I give myself an extra three seconds to think about how this person I’m encountering is going to think of Jesus after this moment is gone?

Do I start my day praying and reading God’s Word so I know what He has for me to learn today? Am I talking to God throughout my day so that if something bad happens, I can immediately say, “God knew this would happen and He has prepared me for this moment?” Do I understand that if I want good reactions to come out of me, I must put good things into my mind first?

Our reactions can, will, and do define our name. In the future when someone says your name, what will it mean to them? If good words don’t come to mind and you think maybe you’ve ruined your name, I’d like to remind you that God’s really good at second beginnings. From this day forward, let your name be associated with Jesus in a good way and don’t let your name become a negative description of a believer.

In the words of Emily P Freeman on her podcast, The Next Right Thing, “Let today be a beginning — not a verdict.” Let’s start a new definition to our names, my friend.