February 4th is a very important date to me.

Several years ago, I finally ended the worst relationship I’d ever been a part of on February 4th. I experienced many kinds of abuse, lots of screaming and fighting and cheating and attacks, and I nearly lost the will to live. Anxiety, depression, and fear rules my life. But I thought he was it: I thought if I left him, then I would be alone the rest of my life and at the time I thought “alone” was a far worse fate than an abusive relationship. I didn’t even know who I’d be apart from this guy.

But then I found the courage to end it. I committed myself to singleness thinking I might be lonely, but at least I’d be free. It felt like the end of any hope I had for happiness. It felt like I was giving up on the idea of love for all time. I had no idea how important February 4th would become.

A couple of months later, after having some time away from the man, I could finally admit to myself that while he didn’t have to be my last chance at love, I needed time to figure out who I was again and what God wanted from me.

I decided to stay out of relationships for six months. I started to talk to God like He cared about me (which He did) and I started asking Him to show me what to do (which He also did). With His help, I became myself again, started healing, and pulled out of depression.

Six months later, I started dating a very different kind of man than I’d ever dated before. I knew before we even started dating that he would be the kind of man I could trust to never cheat on me, to not hit things or throw things, to allow me to be myself without judgment or pushing me to be something I was not, and that he was the kind of man I could love without ever being afraid of him.

3 years later, we married in a beautiful wedding surrounded by family, loved ones, and friends. We went into full time ministry and started reaching others for Jesus.

We’ve had a truly happy, godly relationship through all life’s ups and down and we have a beautiful son. I wake up every day feeling like myself, knowing I have value to God, experiencing true love and purpose, and seeing joy to be found in every day.

But this is not just a love story.

Right now, you might have lost yourself in a sad, hard thing. Right now, you may feel very alone or very overwhelmed or very beaten down. Right now, you might think there’s no hope for whatever situation you think you’re stuck in.

But we know “with God nothing shall be impossible.”

God’s looking to redeem your story. He wants to show you the door out of that hard situation, He wants to heal you, and He wants to turn your story of hard things into a story of His unrestrained grace. It all starts with your version of February 4th. You have to decide to change.

Maybe you’re like I was: stuck in a really bad relationship. Or maybe you’re drowning in responsibilities that you don’t even care about. Maybe you’re just trying to crawl away from something traumatic and awful. Maybe you’re just hoping that the hurts you can’t even speak of will just go away.

God’s with you. He can redeem *~*~*~*ANY*~*~*~* pain, hurt, violent act, stupid choice, angry relationship, lost ways, prodigal paths: anything. Sometimes, we just need to be reminded (and reminded again) of what God promises His believers.

In Isaiah 44:22, God tells us, “ I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and, as a cloud, thy sins: return unto me; for I have redeemed thee.” That means that no matter how far down the wrong path you’ve gone, God wants you to come back to Him. No matter what you’ve done, He’s interested in redeeming the bad for good.

In 2 Peter 3:8-9, we read, “But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” That means that even if you’ve been in this tough situation for a long time or if you’ve been waiting for what seems like forever for something to change for the better, God’s going to keep His promises to you. He’s very, very patient with us.

In Jeremiah 31:3, we see, “The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.” That means that even when we feel unloveable and even when we’re in situations where others are not showing forth His love, we are still very much loved by the Creator and Redeemer of souls.

In Zephaniah 3:17, we read “The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; He will save, He will rejoice over thee with joy; He will rest in His love, He will joy over thee with singing.” Even when we’re so depressed that all we can see or feel is the darkness, the sadness, and the despair, our God is promising to sing His joy over us. There’s hope even in the deepest depression for the child of God because His joy is not dependent on our ability to express or feel joy at all times.

Then we see in Psalms 147:3 that “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” God’s really good at healing our broken pieces, our broken hearts, and our broken lives.

If He can look at my despairing, hurting, broken heart and find a way to bring me into His joy, His love, and His healing, there’s a way for you too, sweet girl. maybe today is not your February 4th… maybe tomorrow won’t be either, but there will be a day when you will be ready to choose to believe His promise and He can then change your life and heal you forever.

I pray your February 4th comes soon. ❤️