I was 8 when I realized I could write, 11 when I got saved, 13 when I decided to be a screenwriter, 17 when I promised God I’d use my writing talent for His glory, still 17 when I got a full ride to ASU, and 21 when I started working for a Christian film studio.

I worked as a script reader for Pure Flix: I would analyze scripts for important cinematic elements. For example, the b-story is the secondary plot of a movie that isn’t as relevant as the main storyline. B-stories always lead to the film’s climax! I was also a member of a church where I felt inauthentic in my faith, but that wasn’t nearly as important as my career. In the movie of my life, finding a new church was definitely the B-story.

After almost a year of dwindling work at Pure Flix and a boss who confidently told me that there was no chance of me moving up ever, I picked up a side job at Planet Fitness. Six months later, my college senior thesis film was nominated for Best Screenplay for a Short Film at the International Christian Film Festival. While attending the festival, I was offered a job by Logos Software as a writer for an animated children’s series they had in the works. I gladly left my job at Pure Flix… but the CEO of Logos’ production company seemed to drop off the face of the planet along with his job offer.

Thus began my journey of getting rejected from 16 jobs in my career field alone. The peak was receiving 2 rejections 30 minutes apart on a Monday morning.

And then came the seemingly perfect job opportunity: a story teller position at Christ Church of the Valley (AKA job number 16). Not only could I get a job that involved telling stories, but I could join a new church!

But I didn’t get the job.

And that’s how I ended up bawling my eyes out in the cleaning closet of a purple gym… which is not the way a Christian should react to needing to stay at their church. So after five years of faithfully serving, I told my pastor and his wife I had to leave.

My dad helped me church hunt and one of the churches we visited was CCV. After sitting through the worst sermon of my life, I cried in the parking lot. It hit me that God watched me weep hysterically over a job opportunity in a church I would’ve hated if I’d gotten the job. I knew I had to surrender to Him in a way I never had before.

A few weeks later, I found a part-time writing job which has now led to me being the manager of a digital marketing agency’s content department. I never could’ve guessed that finally getting a job in my field would not be the highlight of my life. My true highlight in my story was following God to the church God led me to, Trinity Bible Church.

You see, I wanted my career to point others to Jesus. I just wanted to be sure they saw my fingers.

God knew that. He humbled me with a secular career and a church where I’d have more spiritual growth in one year than in the past five combined. Here’s what I learned in the process:

1. God and I may not agree on what the biggest problem in my life is. 2 Corinthians 4:18 says, “While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.” I convinced myself that the biggest problem in my life was not finding the job I thought I wanted. God knew my biggest problem was attending a church I was inauthentic in. Figuring out God knows better (and submitting to Him) affects the way I pray now. For instance, I don’t just pray to get my work done on time: instead, I pray that my workload does not cause me to miss church or reading my Bible. I’m intentional now about praying for eternal and spiritual matters rather than temporary and earthly issues.
2. God loves me too much to be swayed by my tears. In 1 Corinthians 2:9 we find, “But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him.” In the midst of my sobbing, a thought crept across my mind: maybe if I’m sad enough, God will feel really bad for me and give me what I want. I believed God worked this way because as I worked so hard in high school and college, God would seemingly reward me equally in my career. But God moves in my life based on how what He knows is good for me. 

Moving up in my career in Pure Flix might have spiritually validated me staying at my old church and I would not have His will for me in moving to Trinity Bible Church.

Working for Logos would have meant possibly living in Seattle, and I would not have found Trinity Bible Church.

Getting a job at CVV would’ve meant becoming a member there, and I would not have found Trinity Bible Church.

Praise God for the prayers He says no to, especially the ones you beg for.

3. I will confuse God breaking my heart with God breaking idols in my life. We’re commanded in Exodus 20:3, “Thou shalt have no other gods before Me,” but I placed my identity in a glass bottle [idol] shaped as my success and stuck it on the flimsy shelf that is this world. Then I bled when the shelf caved in, the bottle fell, and the shards of glass pierced my skin. Consider the issues you repeatedly pray about. Is it possible that there are reoccurring problems in one part of your life because you have created idols out of your desires there? God shakes important areas of our world to get our attention! Be quick to remove idols in your life before they shatter and hurt you. The beauty of Jesus is He never breaks: He was broken for us.

Since joining Trinity, I’ve gained a love for prayer, His Word, Scripture memory, preaching, godly conversation, fellowship, evangelism, and even the rejection of habitual sin. But all of these were taught at my old church.

The problem was not my old church: it’s me. And the solution is not my new church: it’s God.

God did not want me in a new church because it was better than my old church or more special than my old church. Rather, Trinity is special because God used it this church specifically to change me. More importantly, He taught me to surrender to His will and not question Him. If God no longer wants me at Trinity and I get laid off and am never able to find work in my career again, I’ll be okay because my identity is now in Christ and Christ alone.

Psalm 51:8 says, “Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.”

If God breaking my bones means I get to experience more of the authentic and sanctifying growth I’ve had in Christ this past year, I will gladly get rejected from 100 more jobs and weep in 1000 more Planet Fitness closets.

And take it from a former script reader: pay attention to your B-story.

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I am so thankful for my friend Claudia being with us on Practical Living: sometimes our hardest lessons are learned through the breaking apart of all our worldly hopes and dreams. To get to know our guest post writer better, go follow her on Instagram @sharmaceuticals (https://www.instagram.com/sharmaceuticals/?hl=en)